Flight, Fight, Freeze, and Fawn Responses in CPTSD
Part of an ongoing series about life with complex post-traumatic stress disorder
The best authority on the “4F’s” is Pete Walker, the incredible author of two books that are classics in the CPTSD literary canon, the Tao of Fully Feeling, and Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma. In the latter, Pete Walker runs through the four main types of adrenalin/stress responses that people experience in relation to triggers or stress when they have been exposed to chronic trauma. Basically, people with PTSD/CPTSD’s brains are trained to be more (excessively) responsive to potentially dangerous stimuli over time. This causes physical changes in the amygdala, and nervous system/limbic regulation. In some cases, there is too much brain activity, causing people to be on edge, or agitated. In other cases, the brain shuts down and there is less activity than usual, causing “freeze” reactions. In turn, people have a lower perceived level of tolerance for stressful circumstances, and may have overreactions/underreactions to ordinary and non-threatening events. Here’s Walker’s article about it. Go read it. It’s amazing and great.
Homage paid, here’s my take on what it’s personally like to experience each response type. The prevalence of these responses is why I am working so hard in therapy to understand a) what is happening when I behave these ways b) what is a trauma response, and what is something I actually want to do — these are the only ways I can continue to unearth and appreciate my core aspects of self, instead of these other ways I find myself spending time, but often have no idea why.
Flight responses (as I experience them)
- Burying myself in writing articles (haha), work, phone calls, busyness, exercise
- Running to the cabinet and instinctually eating sweets/snacks for comfort food
- Physically fleeing a space and hiding someplace I feel less vulnerable (in the bathroom, the car, or in extreme distress cases under a bed, under a desk)
- Running from relationships and people getting close to me (ghosting them, replying late, etc.)
- Delaying or ignoring difficult conversations
Freeze responses
- Getting stuck watching tv but not absorbing what’s happening
- Not being able to say anything to/do something with someone I am in conflict with
- Being afraid to do anything other than my exactly normal routine because I am frozen into a low risk maintenance state
- Getting stuck in a physical position I do not intend to for extended periods of time
- Being passive, having no emotions, feeling voiceless, feeling overwhelmed but immobile
- Dissociating, experiencing derealization or depersonalization
Fight responses
- Yelling at someone
- Feeling adrenalin race through my body
- Wanting to crush, smash, destroy, slam
- Picking fights with people or imagining conflict, which keeps them from getting close with me
- Insulting other people, trying to dominate or control other people
Fawn responses
- Obsessively studying other people’s interests so I can be useful to them
- Hoping to get people to like me so they won’t hurt me
- Trying to be an excellent gift giver
- Anticipating others’ needs in advance
- Being subservient when I am frightened
- Dressing in ways that I think will make me most appealing or acceptable to others (or will most allow me to have power over them)
- Performing social duties that I understand to be ideal or “safe” relating to my social roles
[disclaimer: Not a therapist, not a counselor, not trained in medical-health fields. If you’re experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, call 911 immediately.]
