What is trauma?
Part of an ongoing series about life with complex post-traumatic stress disorder
A lot of people think, “I can’t have PTSD, because my life hasn’t been traumatic.” The fact is, most people experience something traumatic in their lifetime. Some of them will go on to develop post-traumatic stress from it. Here are some examples of things that might be considered as “trauma”. This is not in any way an exhaustive list, so if your traumas are not on here, they are not in any way less valid. DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE IF YOU MAY BE TRIGGERED.
Single time trauma that may be most traditionally associated with ‘standard’ PTSD, which is usually caused by single incidence trauma:
- Being in a car accident
- Witnessing violence (someone being hurt, maimed, raped, shot)
- Seeing someone die, or self-harm
- Being part of an attack, hostage scenario, bombing, etc.
- Being mugged, shot, assaulted, harassed, or raped
- Being suddenly dumped/divorced/having someone close to you pass away
- Surviving when comrades do not
In addition to single incidence trauma, emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, and physical and sexual abuse also constitute trauma. If it is perpetuated over a long time period, it is called “complex trauma”. If it happens to a child or adolescent, it is called “developmental trauma”.
Emotional abuse (especially impactful developmentally, so, as a child):
- Being told frequently that you’re worthless or don’t matter, called names, constantly teased, compared to others, or made subject to sarcasm for any characteristic or facet of being
- Being forced to perform acts against your will (this does not include being told to do household chores, etc. except in extreme cases)
- Being severely bullied or isolated
- Feeling like your life or existence are threatened
- Being frequently gaslighted, excessively controlled, or unfairly punished/mistrusted in a consistent way
- Being blackmailed
- Being forced to keep longterm, damaging secrets
Emotional neglect or abandonment (especially impactful developmentally, so, as a child):
- Having a parent abandon the home
- A caretaker not listening to or providing for basic needs (emotional or physical)
- No one validating or creating space for emotional communication or emotional needs
- Being frequently forgotten as an individual
- Being left alone for very long periods of time as a child
- Having no one you trust to share needs, concerns, or worries with as a child
- Being lost or homeless
- Being disowned by family
- Growing up in an orphanage
Physical abuse:
- Being pinched, bitten, choked, slapped, punched, grabbed, kicked, hit or otherwise touched against your will
- Being disciplined by spanking, slapping, switches, or belts
- Being forced to eat/drink against your will
Sexual abuse:
- Being forced (i.e. without expressing clear, unpressured, enthusiastic consent) to touch anyone in any form of sexual manner (note: for those under 18, all sexual contact can be considered abuse, regardless of whether the child gave consent)
- Being forced to watch anyone else perform sexual acts
- Being forced to perform sex acts on yourself or anyone else
- Rape
While society may consider some of these more or less reprehensible, they are all traumatic, and you should not be ashamed to have been affected by any of them. It is important that you know you have value despite what you have experienced, and that you deserve a full and happy life. People who experience one type vs. another do not more or less deserve to have PTSD or CPTSD. Anyone can get it depending on what happens to them in their life. If you know someone who is experiencing trauma, ask how you can best support them. For more resources, check out my CPTSD resources page.
[disclaimer: Not a therapist, not a counselor, not trained in medical health fields. If you’re experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, call 911 immediately.]
